MY NAME
Don't we all want to be extraordinary, and have an extraordinary name that's what I think she is trying to do. By changing her name to Zeze the X rather than Esperanza, it is no longer a muddy color in my opinion Zeze the X is its own bright color that people would have a hard time figuring out; it is not the number nine it would be more like 3,268 or a number that was bigger that would use every muscle in a persons mouth to say; something different,something muchh like her but rather the side she doesn't show. Also Zeze is refuting the fate of getting this name from her great grandmother who was just another woman forced in marriage and destined for a plain life looking at the window. She doesn't want to be a chandelier or a prop for a husband like what her culture wants her too. Zeze wants to be a revolutionary, she wants to be horse woman running wild and free and she felt as if she couldn't do it with her old name which I thought was really sad. I felt as if one reason she wanted to change it because of the way everyone at school says it, at a point you get tired of correcting people but she should have, it isn't that hard to correct yourself but it is hard for her someones name to be made into something uglier when its not; I feel as if every time they butcher her name and do not correct themselves they are disrespecting her culture and Zeze. She is such a young girl and she just wants to change or transform into her true self, which a lot of people take much longer to do. I know what it feels like to want to change, and I thought that it started with my name. Rachel is so bland, every girls name is Rachel and I don't think it ever gave me justice for who I was. So I tried to change it I thought Rae, would be a better choice; Rae is stronger, and sounds nicer to me. When I was little I would read the Bible almost everyday, well just the part where I get my name; the story of Rachel well it was really just the story Jacob who found a beautiful girl (Rachel) ande deicded he wanted to marry her. I used to think that was amazing, I wa named after someone who was so beautiful but then I realized when I got older, beautiful is a nice thing to be but I don't think I was put on this earth to be just that. I didn't want to be Rachel, who was Jacobs wife and the mother of Benjamin and Joseph; whose only relevance in the Bible was marriage, child birth and a rivalry with her own sister over a old man. I didn't want to be Rachel which means purity, I wanted to be Rae which means the me no one sees. I would like to think it fit me, I just wanted my name to be powerful, which is a hard thing to feel when you a young girl, especially a young girl of color. Which is why I relate to Zeze, and why I refer to her as the name she chooses instead of Esperanza because it is her choice; no one calls me Rae, and I don't know if anyone will call Esperanza, Zeze but I will because I think to have someone, atleast one person to try understand you is good enough. There is no doubt power in naming, which was the main theme of this excerpt but I think it is important to respect a persons choice to take the power for themselves and change their name; especially those who feel powerless otherwise.
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